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Tips for co-parenting after a divorce

To co-parent successfully, a couple must follow the rules, focus on communication and stay positive.

Divorces are never easy for Connecticut residents. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the state has a divorce rate of 2.9, which is the same as the rate for the entire country. While divorce is never easy, when children are involved there are even more complexities. Parents need to work together to ensure they put their children’s needs first even during a difficult time.

Follow the rules

Parents want what is best for their children. When a couple seeks legal counsel to set up child support and a custody agreement, it is important that those terms are continuously met even years after a divorce is finalized. For example, if a mother is supposed to have her children every other weekend, she cannot abruptly stop picking the kids up when it is her turn for them. Similarly, a parent should not stop his or her children from seeing the other parent when a visitation agreement has already been made. Following the rules set up by a judge or mediator can help keep the family dynamics functioning.

Keep lines of communication open

Parents, whether they are married or not, need to communicate with each other about their children. When co-parenting after a divorce, it may be tempting for the exes to give each other the cold shoulder. However, this is not in the best interest of the children. Both parents need to know about doctor appointments, soccer practices, dance recitals and play rehearsals to ensure the children are able to maintain their routines. Keeping the lines of communication open can help keep a semblance of normalcy for the children involved in a divorce.

Stay positive

Divorces are often anything but positive, but that does not mean that the children need to know about the negative aspects. Parents should strive to keep conflict and the legal details of a divorce from their children. This means not fighting in the presence of the children, but it can also mean avoiding negative talk about the other parent when any of the kids are present.

A divorcing couple may even want to keep legal documents out of the sight of their children. Of course, parents should not pretend like everything is normal. Giving an overview of the separation process is fine, but children do not need to know about every little detail.

When Connecticut parents decide it is time to end their marriage, they still need to maintain their relationship enough to successfully co-parent. No matter what stage a marital separation is in, it may be beneficial to work with an attorney who is familiar with this type of family law case.


At the Law Offices of Robert B. Fried, we represent clients in the cities of Hartford, Middletown, West Hartford, Rocky Hill, Glastonbury, Wethersfield, Simsbury, Vernon, Enfield, South Windsor, New Britain and Farmington, and in the following counties in Connecticut: Hartford, Middlesex and Tolland.
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